Conflicts

We can have many conflicts with other people. There are different ways on how we solve it.

Okay, so to make this work, let's take the example above there. The boy and girl are bored so they want to pick something to do. But they both have different ideas on where to go, and they both start an argument. 

There are different ways to solve this conflict, there are Win-Lose, Lose-Win, Lose-Lose and Win-Win. Okay, let's make up a story...

Boy: Hey, Let's go to the Football game I like!
Girl: No! That's boring! I want to watch a movie the cinema instead!
Boy: We always go there!
Girl: But I want to go there again!
Boy: You know what, you listen to me. We're going to the Football game no matter what!
Girl: But...
Boy: NO BUTS! Come on let's go!

This is called Win-Lose. I always win, and you must lose. So you must be right and the other person must be wrong. But... can you live that way all the time? Won't people start to hate you? There should be a better way...

Boy: You want to play some sport?
Girl: Nah, I want to go to the mall.
Boy: Why? Sports are fun!
Girl: NO! I WANT TO GO TO THE MALL!
Boy: Okay, fine! We're going to the mall, though I won't like it.
Girl: HOORAY we're going to the mall!

This is called Lose-Win. You will lose, and others will win. You play as a little surrender cat. This is okay, but can you live like this ALL the time? Isn't it a burden to you?

Boy: Hey, what do you want to do?
Girl: I don't know.
Boy: Do you want to go to the cinema or something?
Girl: No.
Boy: Well, then, do you want to go out and eat?
Girl: No.
Boy: Well, what do you want to do?
Girl: I don't know.
Boy: Come on, you have to choose something...

This is called Lose-Lose. Both sides lose, and it is like both people are pointing a gun at each other's head. The result is that everyone doesn't win! This is the worst solution, so stay away from that. 

Boy: Hey, you want to eat out at this fancy restaurant? It has a discount!
Girl: But... I want to go in a fast food restaurant instead...
Boy: Hmm... well, the discount ends tomorrow.
Girl: Oh, then... Must I eat at the fancy restaurant?
Boy: No! No need to! Well then... we can eat at your restaurant. The fancy restaurant probably would be much more expensive than fast food, even with the discount on. 
Girl: Hey, you know, we can eat a bit fancy. Who knows that the fast food will have a discount some other time?
Boy: Okay, so we will agree on eating my restaurant? We can eat at your restaurant some other time.
Girl: Yeah! Let's go!

This is called Win-Win. The best solution for both sides. So, you will get what you want and the others will also get what they want. It's nice to see everyone happy, isn't it?

Next time if you see a conflict coming, choose the Win-Win solution! It has the most courage and consideration!